Dad taught my brother and me to play tennis. (There’s the payoff). Over the years, I had a devil of a time beating Dad. We’d play and play, and I would win a point every now and then, and sometimes I’d win a few in a row. At some point, Dad would look across the court at me and say, “Ok, that was your last point.” And, sure enough, I wouldn’t score another point in that set. At other places in our match, Dad would psych me out with, “No more first serve winners!” and of course, that was the last successful service point for me! I used to get really mad that my own dad would employ such tactics. I mean, didn’t the Geneva Convention forbid that type of mental cruelty? How could Dad stoop to such underhanded means to win a tennis match? The madder I got, the worse I played, and that led to frustration that his cheap trick worked, so I lost more points.

Then, today, some 40 years later, as I was watching Nadal move on to the men’s finals, I finally got what was really going on. Dad wasn’t psyching me out. I psyched myself out. When my Dad planted those negative ideas, I believed him! After all, I was a kid, 30 years younger than he, how could I possibly overcome that? Of course, back then it didn’t occur to me that my own positive thoughts would have trumped Dad’s psychology every time! If I had told myself, “No way that’s going to be my last point! I’m going to beat that old man today!” I would have been invincible.

So, here I am, 40 years later, and 26 years after Dad died, still learning from him, and still in awe of his teaching. Thanks for the tennis (and life) lessons, Dad. They took me a long way.

How are you psyching yourself out of being the winner you want to be?

If you’re like me, you’ve met people who say, “I know I’m supposed to network, but it doesn’t work for me. Why should I bother?” There are a couple of things going on in those sentences that may shine some light on the issue for these folks. Let’s break them down a bit. First of all, the idea that networking (and virtually anything else we do) is imposed on us is a bit out of touch with the times, isn’t it? Just because a business expert suggested networking as a way to develop and grow, all of a sudden now you have to do it, because you’re ‘supposed,’ to network? Well, I’m one of the first people to tell you that networking can be an extremely effective and low-cost tool in your marketing tool box, and I’ll tell you that if you aren’t networking on purpose, or better yet, with a purpose, you are likely to believe it is being forced on you. Just like flavors of ice cream, you do have a choice about networking types, styles, and events.

You Do Have a Choice

Once you have chosen to use it in your word of mouth marketing strategy, there are some very specific choices you can make that will give it purpose in your overall plan. Here are the high-level, purposeful choices you can make.

1. Where you network. Find out where your target market hangs out (you do have a well-defined target market, don’t you?) and frequent those networking events. Attend regularly. Get lots of visibility. Become well-known.
2. How you network. Hopefully you set out with a goal. Maybe you decided to meet and qualify 2-3 potential referral partners. Perhaps that event is more likely to have direct prospects for your services, and that will influence how you qualify your new connections.
3. Business card blizzard. I’ve seen a lot of desperation lately, and it breeds a virtual blizzard of business cards going back and forth. More often than not, the first thing I see networkers do is offer one of their cards. They do so without knowing whether or not the other person qualifies as a business partner or as a prospect.

You Can’t Be Bothered!?

The other disturbing sentiment in the original statement is that networking is bothersome. Your purposeful networking efforts will have you at events rife with like-minded referral partners and prospects who are eager to hear your value proposition, and that’s exciting! Isn’t it? If you don’t get jazzed by those opportunities, you may want to consider a different purpose for your efforts. If you do get excited to help other people be successful, and you head to events with a plan, congratulations! You’re well on your way to having real purpose in your networking.

Christina Danehart is the Principal and driving force behind Dynamic Resource Group.  Growing up in Parkersburg, WV, Christina wanted to be a veterinarian. She moved to Ohio 25 years ago. She and her husband Drew have been married 25 years and have two sons, 16 and 18. They also have three dogs, two cats and two exotic birds. “We’re really into our kids and our animals,” she says.

 Spanning her 16 years experience in the insurance industry, she previously held positions with some of the most well known national health insurance carriers as an award winning top producer and most recently was a partner in a local employee benefits agency. While she loved her work, she struggled with corporate politics and sales people who put their own interests ahead of the best interests of the clients. In 2005 she left the partnership to start Dynamic Resource Group.

Christina takes the time to study each business so she can create a benefits package that meets the needs of that business and its employees. She sits down with each employee to explain the benefits. “Education makes people smart consumers. They use the program smarter, and that makes their money go further.” She also provides payroll services. Her business methods have paid off. All her new clients come from referrals, and her business is expanding every month.

Growing up, Christina Danehart never dreamed that the time she spent helping her grandfather hoe his garden would help prepare her for owning an insurance brokerage company, but she’s found that many of the life lessons he taught her have brought her success in the business world.

“I adored my grandfather.” Christina says. “He had a huge influence on my life. He was a farmer. I spent every summer on his farm. He didn’t have huge farm equipment. We hoed. He had several gardens, one for the family and several gardens for the livestock. While we hoed, he taught me that you reap what you sow, either good or bad. Whatever you put into the ground and nurture is what you get back. If you put quality in, you will get quality out. I apply those values to my business.”

“I never think what is best for my agency or my pocket,” Christina says. “I think of what is best for the employer, the employees and their pockets. I know we have to make money as a business, but let’s not rip people off. I wanted to have my own company so I could do things my way, do what I knew was right.”

Even as the owner of a successful company, Christina has never lost sight of the lessons her grandfather taught her.  ”He was an amazing man,” she said. “He’d start hoeing at one end of the row. I’d start at the other, and we’d meet in the middle. Often our hoes would clink together. He’d always ask me, ‘Do you know what that means?’ I’d always answer no, even though he’d told me many times. He’d say, ‘That means we’re going to be here next year doing the same thing.’ As I got older I made sure our hoes clinked together because I wanted to be there next year. I feel the same way about Dynamic Resource Group. I want to be doing the same thing next year. I just want to assist people and make a living doing it.”

Okay, so we all agree that relationships with referral partners lead to positive scenarios for all parties.  How can we tell who is a good referral partner? What makes some people stand apart from the others, and what are the best criteria of referral partners?

Target Markets
One of the most important attributes for an effective referral partner is that they know and have strong relationships with the members of your target market. After all, if you’re a residential realtor, would you benefit from a referral partner who is an event planner? Sure, you may have an occasion to do business directly every now and then, but we’re thinking about 3-D relationships. Realtors and their clients are much more likely to get  more value from title agents, lenders, home inspectors, and remodelers than from people who coordinate conferences and seminars.

In addition to knowing your target market members, effective partners should also have a high level of credibility with those professionals. You all know that buyers do business with people they know, like, and trust, so develop referral partnerships with trustworthy, credible professionals. When you work with credible companies who do great work, provide excellent service, and charge reasonably, the number of referrals you share and projects you can collaborate on will go way up.

Qualifying New Acquaintances
Over time referral partners will come and go, and you will find a need to replace them every now and then. Hopefully, you won’t have to look too far outside of your networks, but if you do need to select from folks you don’t know well, or have a strong relationship with, you need to qualify potential partners. Because this is a relationship that means a lot to you and your clients (maybe other professionals too) you won’t enter into referral partnerships quickly and lightly. When I’m trying to identify and qualify new referral partners, I connect with candidates at events, meetings, and seminars, and ask lots of questions, and listen. When someone says they’re in a profession that is a natural fit with my business, I tell them I’m looking for people in that profession that may want to establish a mutually rewarding relationship that also benefits our clients. I ask them if they want to have a one-to-one meeting to pursue how we can support each others’ efforts. During the subsequent meeting I delve into their target markets to verify they are working with the same people I am.  Then I start to review the other five attributes to make sure our new relationship will be strong and rewarding. Oh, that’s right, there are six attributes of an effective referral partner. Other characterstics include being coachable, wanting to help, having time to help, having resources to help, and of course they have to be referrable, too. Future blog entries will shine a bit more light on each of the remaining attributes.

The caring monk displayed an incredible level of flexibilty that didn’t cause him to violate his values. On another level, by helping a person who needed assistance, he was able to more completely fulfill other important values he held.

What inflexible values about referral marketing are you still carrying around, and that you should have put down a long time ago?

The Point

Dudley’s point is that in our texting, tweeting, blogging, micro-blogging, ceaselessly connected culture we continually dash through, we are losing a vital element of our relationships. We’re losing our “human,” connectedness. Although there are scores of experts telling us how to establish (online) relationships that are effective and fruitful, are we really connecting with each other as beings, or as pixels, and words in type-face? How often have you mis-interpreted an email, or learned that someone read meaning into your words you never intended? Real human contact at least put is in close enough proximity that we are able to see, hear, and feel the dissonance for ourselves, and we can address it immediately, straighten out misunderstandings, and go on our way, having made a human to human connection. Dudley pointed out that when we connect with each other personally, we get real glimpses of people’s lives. What they like, dislike, and who they really are, and that connects us like no other communication can.

Today. . .

As I noted earlier in this post (and in prior missives) technology has given us a myriad of new and interesting ways to connect with each other. I’m connected globally via social media to hundreds of people, and just a few years ago we could only imagine the others’ existence, let alone get opinions, information, teachings, guidance, and the gamut of content that comes through the Internet pipeline. I temper my zeal for face to face contact with a deep gratitude and appreciation for these techno-contacts, because without them the resource pool at my disposal wouldn’t be near as deep. I’m also glad that these technologies have enabled me to make some new deeper connections while re-connecting with former friends and acquaintances.

Tomorrow. . .

I honestly don’t see how we can subsist  in any fulfilling way with just techno-relationships or even just face to face connections. As our individual spheres continue to expand exponentially, the universe will shrink for each of us at the same rate, and in order to be successfully fulfilled and to be truly referrable, more and more we will need to be able to connect with each other across many miles, cultures, and methods. The trick is for each one of us to find the amalgam of social and human networking that guarantees we will not only survive, but also thrive, and be fully actualized as warm, caring, connected, referrable, humans.

Oh, by the way. . .

You can find me on Twitter, Facebook, Ezinearticles, MySpace, Youtube, and at most Panera Bread locations and other coffee venues in central Ohio. Send me a tweet, post a comment on my Facebook page, or stop by for a cup of coffee and warm conversation.

When I read Dave Makar’s latest blog I connected with his message, and asked him to be a guest blogger.  Here is his entry. Enjoy.

What makes you referable is going to be completely different from what makes your strategic partner referable and what makes me referable. Right? Well, probably wrong.

There are common traits in people who are referable.

So what are these traits of a referable person? What makes you referable?

Are you an expert in your field? I’m putting my reputation on the line for you – you better know what you are talking about and that you can perform.

·        Are you relational? Are you going to treat the people I refer to you (my family, friends, and clients) like a person or like a number? Is that next client a person or an invoice?

·        Are you a life long learner? Will you be patient to listen to a potential client? Do you enjoy learning about people and their needs?

·        Are you coachable? Your referral partners are going to have to teach you how to listen and how to introduce them to potential clients.

·        Are you an entrepreneur? Do you believe in and have a strong passion for your business? If you don’t have a passion for your work – I may wonder if you’ll complete the job you’ve asked for.

·        Do you apply your expertise to your own life? Look at what you are trying to have people refer you for – your products and services. Do you use them yourself?

·        Are you doing some kind of networking today? People like to refer people to people who are outside of their cave and are visible. Come out to play and people will want to and be able to refer you better. 

If you can answer yes to all of these bullets – you are referable!

If you are still having trouble turning from being ‘referable’ to getting referrals, check out one of the upcoming Referral Success 101 sessions in your area.

David Makar is a certified instructor with the Referral Institute. His passion for relationship based business led him to opening Referral Institute Ithaca – in order to bring expertise and instruction on referral marketing to central New York. You can contact him at dmakar@referralinstituteithaca.com

I recently caught up with Troy over a cup of coffee, and he shared the following items about his business and personal life.

The Future

Shearer Landscaping is one of Troy’s newest clients, and with the onset of spring Troy’s latest marketing campaign is tasked with attracting more seasonal companies that use clothes with logos and other promotional items. Who do you know who hires seasonal staff, and needs to buy the new staff hats, shirts, windbreakers, and other items that have their logo proudly emblazoned by Image One?

Recent achievements

This past January Cutter & Buck golf-inspired clothier selected Troy and Image One to join their exclusive list of distributors. Now, Image One can provide the premium quality shirts, trousers, sweaters, and other clothing needs for local golf aficionados and non-golfers who desire the high quality polo shirts and all-weather wind shirts Cutter & Buck provide. Troy told me that they have beautiful desk sets now too, so your Fathers’ Day and graduation presents for golfers and business people are available from Troy.

Troy said that his business is up between 20% and 25% over 2009. He attributes Image One’s success to the service and quality levels he provides consistently, whether the client has been using his products since he started, or are first time buyers. All Image One customers can expect turnaround times on their orders of ten business days or less.

Just for Fun!

Last April Troy, his wife Lisa and their eight year old son, Jack attended a wedding in Jamaica, and this coming July they plan to head south to Walt Disney World for a summer get-away.

Making Connections

In addition to his membership in the Cap City chapter of BNI, Troy attends many Business First networking functions, and uses LinkedIn (www.linkedin.com) extensively to connect with current, past, and potential clients. He also plans to attend the March session of ActionCOACH’s GrowthCLUB, which serves double duty as a way to work on the business, while providing an opportunity to network with the other participants.

Success Factors

Troy’s skill as an active listener plus his general good nature and laid back sense of humor combine to make him an excellent partner for his clients, members of his contact sphere, and his referral partners. Schedule a coffee break with Troy soon. You won’t be sorry.

DON’T ROCK THE BOAT!

TRIED AND TRUE METHODS ARE ALWAYS THE BEST WAY TO GET THINGS DONE.

If you’re like me; you have heard those phrases, and others like them, when problems pop up like early spring crocuses. When people hold ineffective beliefs, productivity and morale fall faster than the highest roller-coaster at Kings’ Island as it plunges from the highest peak.

Innovative problem-solving practices may lead to faster solutions; solutions that become the way work gets done. We’ve all been asked to “think outside of the box,” and although that phrase is over-used, it’s descriptive, and paints a valid picture of our thoughts when we don’t challenge current ways, means, and methods.

How can we convince people to look for new ways to confront issues? I think we should look to the arts for creative, innovative procedures.

I know from the years I held a management position in a large corporation that most employees have to write a lot. Reports, analyses, proposals, contracts, white papers, opinions, and the ubiquitous email pervade corporate workplaces. I was frequently dismayed by the items I read. People tried so hard to conform to a corporate standard, which led to their writing in stilted, jargony messages that had bad grammar, and failed to communicate the writer’s message. What would email and reports sound like after employees attended creative writing classes? I remember going to one that was designed for the company where I worked. The instructor taught creative writing @ Franklin U and by the end, she had us writing like we talked, not how we thought was correct, and business-like. For instance, she showed me how “the people with whom I network,” was much easier to read, and even made more sense when I changed it to, “the people I network with.”

Process engineers make sure that tasks that have to be completed to successfully get from point A to Z are written as clearly as the blueprint for railroad tracks across a desert. What if the same engineers  incorporated negative space awareness as they conceptualized their projects? I bet the process experts would astound us with the fantastic new ways everyone can get from start to finish after they learn to “see,” a bit differently.

Finally, imagine the improvements to solutions with regular exposure to the colors and forms in fine art. Just the exposure to the nuances and vastness of colors would positively impact the way we look at the issues that confront us. Salvador Dali’s abstract paintings tease our typical perception of everyday objects, and can help us see new forms to old problems and tired answers. Expressive dancers and the vast musical universe would help us tune in to as many new solutions as there are planets in the heavens. 

In closing, I have a favor to ask you. The next time you aren’t’ sure how to get back on track, as you look for your solution, use the arts to shift your focus from the “tried and true.” Read some poetry, draw a picture of your dog, listen to a symphony, or visit an art museum. When you open yourself up to new ideas, you won’t end up looking like to forlorn, distraught, and frightened subject of Norwegian painter Edvard Munch’s “The Scream.”.

What *Is* Social Networking?
A Google search on the key phrase, “define: social networking,” returned 14 hits, or definitions. Various input included items like, “online communities,” “groups of people,” and “networks of friends and associates.” The common element among all of the definitions is that they are based on the Internet, and are ‘virtual.’ Let’s consider that word; virtual. Princeton’s online resource Wordnetweb says virtual is, “existing in essence or effect though not in actual fact.” Interesting. “Not in actual fact.” Connecting the dots, one could say that due to their virtual nature, the online gathering places are not in fact, communities. Nor are they, in fact, networks of friends and associates and groups of people. 

Well, that’s the literal view, based on how we used to consider “networks of friends.” That phrase connotes my grade school buddies and I hanging out in Tim’s tree house, and older friends golfing or having a coffee together, sharing our life experiences. And what about “communities?” I venture that most of us have an image of a wholesome, nurturing, warm, caring place where we can live safely, without fear, while we thrive on our interaction with and for each other.

Time for a Change
Okay, that’ s the old school, literal view, what about a 21st. century approach? In this very rapidly changing ethos we call technology, and more specifically, the Internet, relying solely on a passé definition is naive, if not foolish. With estimates of more than 100 million Facebook users, and more than 10 billion Tweets posted as of this writing, plus the scores of other sites used to make connections, I believe an update to “virtual,” is required. “Not in actual fact,” does not fit our purposes. The cyberspace definition of virtual needs to mean just that; real connections made among people, with computers, in cyberspace.

Future perspective 
Recognizing the scope of social networking tools is almost as limitless as the number of us active in cyberspace (OK, I’m stretching that more than a little) it’s important to note some of the more common social networking sites, with their purpose. Stay tuned for my list, and in the meantime, please contribute social networks you want included in a comment on this blog post.